The Relationship Workout “Fun-to-Drama” ratio gives you a measure for the quality of your relationship, as it summarizes the quantity of fun to drama entries you’ve made in your journal.

The higher the ratio of positive feelings and interactions (fun) to negative ones (drama), the stronger the relationship you’re likely feel you have.

Of course, the more you keep up with your journal, the more accurate your fun to drama ratio will be. So, consider making journal entries every day if possible.

The Fun-to-Drama ratio is important to track because fundamentally all relationships have issues. No two people can possibly be aligned on 100% of everything, 100% of the time. It’s impossible! As well, no one is perfect, so we’ll all make mistakes of some sort or another. You will make mistakes. The person you’re with will make mistakes. Plus, ordinary life will bring unexpected twists and turns to your every day. Bottom line: you will have issues to deal with in your relationship. That’s a given. But how many issues are too many?

As John Gottman writes in Why Marriages Succeed or Fail [pg 57]:

‘That magic ratio is 5 to 1. In other words, as long as there is five times as much positive feelings and interaction between husband and wife as there is negative … the marriage was likely to be stable.” 

Five positive feelings to each negative one creates on average a stable relationship. So, your objective should be to try to keep your Fun-t0-Drama ratio above five if at all possible.

In other words, if you find your “Fun-to-Drama” ratio to be relatively low – say noticeably under 5 – consider completing the 3-stage Relationship Core Assessment. This will not only identify core areas of potential weaknesses but will provide specific recommendations on changes you and the person you’re with can make to reduce the drama.