At a high level, the overall objective of the Relationship Workout Program is to increase the quality of your intimate relationship, which can be thought of as increasing the amount of positive fun you two have together, while reducing the amount of negative drama.
Put another way, life is made of a series of moments. The more positive moments you have with your special someone, versus negative ones, the better you’ll feel about the relationship. Therefore, Relationship Workout provides a framework and set of tools to help you to reduce the amount of drama you infuse into these moments – freeing up more time to have fun – so you can realistically strive for that ratio of fun over drama of 100 to 1 or even 1,000 to 1!
As shown in Figure 1-3, the Relationship Workout Program begins by thinking of dating as a process segmented into five Dating Steps, which spans the time before meeting someone to actually making a long term commitment. Then at the heart of the Relationship Workout Program is the five step Workout Plan, which aligns each step with a step in the dating process.
And like when you go to the gym you have different areas – such as a room with free weights to build muscle and another with cycles for endurance strengthening – each Workout Plan step aligns with an overall Gym Focus area.
- During Step 0, the gym focus begins with a commitment to being a strong partner, and if you’re dating choosing a strong partner for you.
- During Steps 1 and 2, we add a focus on reducing drama and resolving issues.
- During Steps 3 and 4, we add a focus on having connected fun and feeling like partners.
Finally, you have the Results Achieved, which summarizes the overall results if strong versus weak relationship skills are deployed.
- During Step 0, the more at peace you feel, the stronger you’re likely approaching the relationship.
- During Steps 1 and 2, the more you enjoy being together the stronger you’re likely being together as you’re dating.
- During Steps 3 and 4, the more phenomenal fun you’re having together, and the more it feels like you’re acting like a team, the stronger you’re likely being during the relationship.