Once you’ve made a long-term commitment to another person, life together living as partners truly begins.
And as the days turn into months then into years, true teams just continue to work as teams. This is not about winning the first game, then falling back into ego-centric, all-about-ME blame-throwers at mid-season. Sustaining a strong relationship is about consistently and continuously staying in front of the relationship train, riding the quality track:
- You’re about staying at peace internally.
- You’re about witnessing your thoughts and not about letting your ego control you. You’re not about wallowing in negativity.
- You’re about letting go of attachments that don’t serve your best interests.
- You’re about staying in strong physical health. Strong body. Strong Mind.
- You admit to your contributions to issues. You realize you’re not perfect and this is okay. You want to learn more about your weaknesses so ultimately you can be a stronger partner.
- You’re about minimizing your self-creation of issues and drama. You’re about resolving all issues that emerge.
- You’re about kindness and integrity.
- You’re about deploying strong communication and anger plays.
- You know that feeling stuck is an opportunity for growth.
- You’re about maintaining your gumption, regardless.
- You’re about being the strongest partner possible.
- You continue to care, as you continue your commitment to relationship excellence.
- You’re about staying Relationship Fit! 24x7x365.
The Never Give Up Attitude
To state the obvious, life together will no doubt be a journey filled with highs (fun) and lows (drama). Of course, enjoy the times filled with phenomenal fun.
However, during any and all drama infested lows, hold on to your never give up attitude. Remember that even those times when the fighting is at its absolute worse, you love that person (although any anger and/or anxiety you feel in the moment may be masking those loving feelings).
Regardless, don’t stop caring for the person you have made a commitment to even when his or her Demons have turned that person into bitchy Godzilla-bride reincarnated or a King Kong sized gulp of crapola.
If you feel and believe the person you love has has severely wronged you, don’t surrender to feelings of fight or flight. Instead, stay present and stay curious. As long as you don’t think about quitting the relationship, you will find an unlimited supply of gumption to keep trying to figure out what’s going on. No blame throwing – only respectful problem solving.
Ultimately, the quality of your relationship will be determined by how much fun versus drama you two have together. Continue to be relationship fit by minimizing how much self-created drama you inflict on the relationship through weak relationship behavior. Continue to work the Relationship Workout Routine to create your short list of actions you’re taking to strengthen your relationship game.
In parallel, stay relationship fit by NOT allowing any of your person’s relationship weak behavior to take you off your strength game.
Put simply, you’ve made the commitment to be with her for the rest of your life. You want phenomenal fun. You don’t want unceasing drama. Choose to stay relationship fit. You only live once. And since you’ve chosen to live this once with your person, choose to do your best to have the highest quality relationship possible.